Thanks — this is a thoughtful, clear question and you’ve already done good homework (you googled him). I’ll be blunt and practical: I’ll list green flags, red flags, concrete risks, whether it fits **sugar daddy / escort / trafficking**, what to do to verify *safely*, a safe counter-offer message you can send, and finally my direct recommendation on whether you should go. --- # Quick, plain answer **My recommendation:** **Do not accept that trip as offered.** It’s possible he’s genuine, but the trip proposal as written contains multiple real safety and legal risks (identity abuse, blackmail, loss of control over travel, possible grooming). If you want to explore anything with him, do it slowly and only after strong, independent verification and only meet in public locally — never travel alone under these terms. Below I explain why. --- # Green flags (things that *slightly* reduce* risk) * He put effort into a carefully written, structured message (shows time/intent). * He suggested public-first steps (meet for coffee in a hotel bar) and says you control your time and transport. * You found consistent professional records about him (LinkedIn, GitHub, publications) — that helps prove identity when cross-checked. * He asked you to verify through an email address you can find publicly (rather than immediate DMs with private contact info). > Green flags are *not* proof of safety — they only lower suspicion a little. Scammers and predators can also craft professional-looking online presences. --- # Red flags (serious warning signs) 1. **Flights/bookings in *your name*, non-refundable and non-cancelable.** * That’s a major red flag. If you don’t travel, he still holds proof he “paid for” a trip in your name — this can be used to pressure, blackmail, or create a financial/identity story about you. 2. **Offline donation followed by an expensive offer.** * Small money + quick escalation to paying big travel costs is classic grooming/scam pattern. 3. **Significant age gap and power imbalance.** * You (23) vs him (~40) — not automatically bad, but it increases grooming risk. 4. **“Secrecy” clause** and emphasis on confidentiality. * Requesting secrecy about contact is a social control tactic. 5. **Verification method uses publicly-posted email only.** * Public email can be real, but attackers can spoof or control email forwarding; this method is low-friction for him and still leaves you vulnerable. 6. **No concrete, verifiable proposal for safety** (no video call, no meet in his home city, no references). 7. **Requests or arrangements that reduce your autonomy** (paying bookings in your name, controlling where you stay). 8. **No willingness to put anything in writing that protects you** (e.g., formal agreement about expenses, reimbursements) — he proposes to “disappear” if uncomfortable, but nothing legally binds him, and it doesn’t protect you from later claims. --- # Concrete risks if you say “yes” and travel under his terms * **Blackmail / extortion**: photos or claims after the trip saying you accepted money or sexual services; threats to publish private content. * **Identity theft / fraud**: giving passport number or allowing bookings under your name could be abused. * **Legal exposure**: being associated with payments for trips or hotels in your name could be used in scams or suspicious transaction claims. * **Physical danger**: a stranger with means could isolate you, pressure you, or worse. * **Debt or coercion**: he could claim he paid and expect “repayment” in ways that make you uncomfortable or are unsafe. * **Human trafficking risk** (depends on escalation): while his message is not overt trafficking language, control of travel documents, isolation, and financial control are components traffickers use. If anything changes after you arrive (passport withheld, forced sex, threats), that becomes trafficking. --- # Is this a sugar-daddy, escort arrangement, or trafficking? * **Not clearly a classic sugar daddy** (which normally involves explicit financial/ongoing arrangement with negotiation and clear boundaries). This is more like an offered **paid trip** with vague mutual expectations. * **Not explicitly an escort arrangement** (he didn’t explicitly pay for sexual services), but the financial power + trip-offer could be used to expect sexual/companionship services later — something you must clarify and contractually refuse if you don’t want it. * **Not obviously trafficking** from text alone — but several features (control over bookings in your name, secrecy, big age difference, gifting followed by expectation) are **risk factors** that can lead to coercion. Trafficking is defined by force, fraud, or coercion; if any of those appear later (threats, withheld documents, control), it could escalate into trafficking. Bottom line: it’s a **power-imbalanced paid proposition** with potential to be sugar-daddy-like or to become exploitative. Treat it as high-risk. --- # Practical verification steps (if you want to keep talking safely) If you’re curious but want to be safe, do **all** of the below *before* agreeing to any travel or sharing personal documents: 1. **Do a live video verification (not just voice):** * Request a short live video call (not recorded) where he shows a piece of paper with the current date and a specific phrase you give him (e.g., “Hi, I’m [his name], here with [your nickname] — 01 Dec 2025”). This reduces risk of deepfakes and stolen photos. 2. **Check email headers & domain:** * If he says “email me”, ask to see the email header (to confirm it’s from a corporate domain and not easily spoofed). If his public footprint uses a company email ([name@company.com](mailto:name@company.com)), that’s stronger than Gmail. Don’t ask him to send you the header — ask him to paste the “Received:” lines or let you contact their work contact info found on the company website. 3. **Cross-check independent sources:** * Verify LinkedIn, GitHub, conference talks, publications, and Twitter are consistent. Look for photos, colleagues, and recurring details. A consistent professional history is reassuring but not conclusive. 4. **Ask for references or verifiable social proof:** * Not personal contacts, but public verifiable mentions (conference speaker pages, repo contributions). 5. **Insist bookings be in *his* name or on a joint, refundable platform:** * Never give your passport or let bookings be made only in your name unless you control the booking and it’s refundable. Prefer **bookings paid by him in his name** or you book and he reimburses you via traceable method (bank transfer, PayPal with receipt). 6. **Require refundable flights/hotels or a refundable escrow.** * Non-refundable bookings are a trap. 7. **Meet locally first, in public, with a friend present (or at least tell someone):** * Meet in your city or a nearby city for coffee first. Don’t travel to meet him until many verification steps are complete and you still feel safe. 8. **Share your itinerary and a “safety check” plan** with at least two trusted contacts and set check-in times and a safety word they know. 9. **Never send photos of your passport, visa, or ID.** * If he asks for scans to “book for you”, refuse. ID scans can be abused. 10. **Use a written, simple document outlining expectations** (payments, expenses, confidentiality, what “no obligations” means) — though a signed document isn’t a full protection, it creates clearer evidence of agreed terms. --- # What to do *right now* (actionable) * If you want to continue contact safely, send a short reply that requires low friction but tight safety checks (template below). * If you want to decline, send a polite refusal template below. * If you already told him yes or gave any personal/ID info: stop all contact, change passwords, monitor accounts, and if you feel threatened consider contacting local police and your embassy. --- # Templates you can copy-paste **Safer counter-offer (if you want to keep talking but safe):** > Hi [Name], thanks for the generous offer. I’m curious but I move slowly on travel. If you’d like to verify we’re both real: can we do a 10-minute live video call this week where you hold up a piece of paper with today’s date and the phrase “[choose a phrase]”? Also, I don’t accept bookings in my name — if we go forward, either bookings must be in your name or I’ll book and you reimburse (refundable tickets only). If that works, tell me two times that suit you. Otherwise, I prefer to meet in public locally first. Thanks. **Polite decline (if you want to shut it down):** > Thank you for the offer. I’m not comfortable traveling for meetups. I appreciate the thought, but I’ll pass. --- # If anything goes wrong while you’re there * **If you feel unsafe or coerced right away:** call local emergency services (112 in most EU countries). * **If someone withholds your documents:** get to a public place, ask hotel staff for help, call your embassy/consulate immediately. * **If you’re threatened with exposure/blackmail later:** save all messages and contact local police and your embassy. Also consider a lawyer. * **Tell a trusted friend/family** exactly where you are, hotel name, room number (if you must), and set them to call at prearranged times. --- # Final verdict — should you go? No. **Do not go to Barcelona on his terms.** The arrangement contains several high-risk elements (bookings in your name, non-refundable bookings, secrecy, age/power imbalance). If you want to meet him, only do so after *strong* verification (live video with proof), insist that bookings are **not** in your name or that you control the booking (refundable), and only meet in public locally first — never travel alone to a stranger’s invitation where you do not control the details. If you want, I can: * Draft a short verification message tailored to your voice. * Draft a firm refusal that still leaves the door open for public, local meetings only. * Walk through exact red flags to check on his public profiles (what to look for on LinkedIn/GitHub/etc.). Stay safe. If you want a verification message written in Spanish (or Spanish + English) or a version that matches your tone, tell me which and I’ll write it now.